18-Year-Old Me Wants To Say Something

Say What Now?! — Edition 7

When I was 18, the one thing that separated me from all my peers was — while they were all in love with love, I was in love with internships.

Not many may know about this, but I might have done at least four-five internships during my college holidays. I used to be addicted to this internship portal, online, and would apply to not less than four internships on a daily basis. (Yes, I would!)

You’d surely be wondering why — well, as far as I remember, I just wanted to learn English! So, whenever I sat in front of the screen of the family desktop, my fingers would subconsciously move the mouse to the said website.

Seeing a new internship posted online, my brain cells would zing with energy, which would send my fingers dancing on the keyboard. So this internship portal (I am quite unsure if it is still functional), used to ask a few questions per internship.

A mere glance at those questions would get my adrenaline pumping and I would get down to answering each one in the most creative way I could think of.

One such question was — In your own words, elaborate upon the idea of ‘Validation’.

Here’s what the 18-year-old me typed out as an answer to it —

Is the value of a person decided by how he/she is perceived by others? Would you only feel good about yourself if someone compliments you? Would your dog not go to sleep without you pampering him and telling him he’s a good boy? Well yes, that was stretching it a bit too far.

The jovial part apart, we cannot really ignore the fact that first impressions, the value of a person, non-verbal gestures, and other relevant details, which let you judge a person’s personality have become some religiously upheld beliefs.

So does that mean that our society is gradually turning us into pretentious, hypocritical judgmental shells of people?

There are some colorful souls who still exist for living life the awesome way, who wouldn’t really care as much as to what the society thinks of them and would rather swim against the tide because they believe only dead fish go with the flow. Aren’t they quite inspiring?

Well, it sure is a subjective question because you would like cotton candy flavored ice-cream but I would much rather prefer the actual real cotton candy.

Why don’t we accept that we are different and it is good this way, because if everything and everyone were the same, then what fun would it be? So let’s try to seek validation a little less and enjoy our lives a little more. Cheers.

Believe you me, the above is an unedited, excerpt from the answer that I stumbled upon while going through the old files on my laptop, recently. Ignoring the occupational hazard-like urge of cleaning it up a bit, I decided to put it out here for all of you to see.

Why? Because I love this girl! This teen-on-the brink of adulthood had it all sorted. She knew how to make the world go round on her fingertip as well as how to feel okay if it didn't really go her way.

She was not only self-aware, but also was aware of the things happening around her. And most importantly, she was doing it all for the sheer pleasure of it! She wasn’t shying away, didn't have even an ounce of an existential crisis, knew what she wanted, and didn't hesitate to go for it.

There was only one thought in my mind when I read the excerpt and it was that — I was proud of her!

For two reasons mainly — first, she wasn't doing this internship to seek any validation and second because she was brave enough to put her thoughts on to the paper (or screen in her case).

It was almost like I had a phone call from my past self who was telling me- Hi girl, take deeper breaths, open your arms wider and stop hesitating, right, this very moment!

If I had a Telephone box today, which doubled up as a time machine, I’d definitely hitch a ride to that golden time of confidence. Why? Only one reason comes to mind — I’d love to seek her advice!

It seems that I may have lost pieces of me along the way. In a funny coincidence, it was my own words that set me up for my very own, personal intervention. Post giving me a reality check, they (my words) reassured me that they will always have my back!

So, when are you going back to wave hello to the slightly different, rough-around-the-edges yet so inspiringly confident you?