I’m Going To Stop Having Nails For Breakfast

Say What Now?! — Edition 2

I’m the average Joe (to be specific, Josette — because, self-identification et all). I like flattery, I love validation, and I am obsessed with attention (and the lack thereof). These are not only some random facts but also are quite an integral part of my personality. Do they define me? No. Would I like them to? Absolutely not!

So, why is it that I use them as cash to get my hands on a lifetime pass of the rollercoaster of negativity, always?

I used to be the person who carried sunshine in jars, (sunshine = positivity). The early afternoon time when the soft rays of sun bounce of the bright green of leaves, that used to be my favourite time of the day.

I loved reading romance novels, hungrily biting into the sweet-sour slices of pineapple, binge-watching movies about best friends, who try to destroy each others’ lives to finally realise that they could never survive without each other.

And then, I decided to grow up.

I decided that so much positivity can’t be healthy and I should replace it with a healthy balance of practical thoughts. Ironic, considering my blood group is B+. More than anything, I was ashamed to be that naive little girl who everyone looked at and thought — Oh yes, she’s going to stumble, soon enough.

All of us do that right? We want to be the grown-up, with pockets full of wisdom. Flaunting glasses of knowledge on the bridge of our noses and spouting something clever that will knock everyone’s socks off.

I tried to become exactly that and I fairly succeeded. Or so I thought.

In my pursuit of being the best version of myself, I lost track of the slightly random, positive girl I used to be. Pineapples were replaced with apples, romance novels were replaced with high-brow fiction (the kind Sashi Tharoor would recommend) and complex movies became my choice of entertainment.

Last evening, while discussing ethics on the phone with a dear friend, I realised how much of my time was spent obsessing about being the one with the most potential, the one who knew big words, the responsible one. Sadly enough, the positive one never made it to the list.

My daily breakfast was chewing on rusted, iron nails of negativity. Thinking about what parts I should delete and feeling guilty about all my drawbacks.

The phone call ended and I did something quite out of the blue. I watched a rom-com that I had brushed away in the past. And guess what? Midway through the movie, I had glimpses of the girl who loved pineapples and positivity. Cue self-realisation!

Sometimes, all we need are do-overs. They certainly help us realign our hearts and restart our minds.

I’m obviously a work in progress at the moment, but I would love for positivity to be a random fact that defines me, from hereon. Look out pineapples! You’ve regained a lost fan. No hard feelings nails, you certainly deserve the boot.

- Sincerely, the B+ girl.

Found an iron nail in your breakfast too? Reach out to me and let’s hammer it to the wall of positivity.